Sunday, January 10, 2016

Ethics

First blog in 2016
Lets discuss on 'ethical' 

1. Should we bribe to protect ourselves ? 

One of the colleague (Y) received a summon from JPJ 
because she used the bus lane .

According to her , there's no camera hidding around that area 
JPJ officer told her that someone captured her car plate 
and logde a complain to JPJ

To solve this issue, she bribeb the officer with RM600 

U guys will start wondering , how much is the summon? 
RM300 and the car have to be inspected by JPJ officer .

Y did not want her car to be inspected by JPJ officer , hence , she bribed.
She told us there's case where officer changed the spare parts
of the car when undergoing inspection. 


2. Will u bribe ? 

Further discuss on that , we shared our thoughts about bribery. 
Most of the colleague said they will bribe if they received a summon. 

姑息養奸! Will u bribe ? 
I told them i will pay the summon. 
Some agree with me because there's a discount given to settle your summon.


3. Right or wrong ?

Y insisted she's not wrong because of using the bus lane. 
Another colleague and me told her , 'u're wrong according to the law ' 

My colleague started to argue with Y. 
Keep asking her :你知錯嗎?
She insisted : 我沒錯。 

Y keep mentioning that people nowsaday is too free
Capture this and that and start complaining . 

What do u think? 

And she emphasized, she did not use emergency lane. 

Conclusion

Selfishness tell. If u used to take bus , 
u will know how important the bus lane is.

The issue is not to argue ' right' or 'wrong'
Because there's no exact answer for each of us


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

We knew



I know U know I'm here
U know I know U'll stay on 

This is why WE choosen the road 
No matter how hard

Go through it
.
.
Hi Tomorrow :) 

Saturday, August 22, 2015

人際關係,這回事

心,非常的不舒服

是我的問題
還是我的同事的問題?!

用心做每一件事
卻傷害了自己

還是從小到大
沒學好人際關係這回事

算了吧
想想我的姐妹淘
有可愛的林寶

還有很多用心交的朋友

放棄吧
什麼都不理了





Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Game over ?!

Alright, start with an ordinary starting ...
Well, it has been a long time since last blog 

Fail my exam . Don't ask me why 
Retake the exam with great of fear 
And having post-exam phobia 

I guess i cant accept another time of failure
Anyhow, have give myself another chance to try
If i fail again , IF

Overloaded with problems and issues 
Surrounded by MR Stress.

Quality of sleep is what i needed now 

My mood is like how the share market and FOREX fluctuated 
Oops. Our RM is not fluctuate at all
Going down all the way reaches RM4/ $US

As my financial commitment too high with only 0.03% of saving monthly againts my salary
I have stepped into investment line - share market

I gain and i loss .
With the 2.6b and 1MDB issues somehow affected me 

Today, i have loss my capital .
Dont worry , have not declare bankrupt yet

I cant imagine those who have no knowledge on fundametal and technical analysis 
How they survive in the market ??! 

This is how my life going 

Society force me to do so 

Monday, April 13, 2015

有緣。無份


有緣這份東西
是很奇妙的

地球
說大不大
說小不小

能成為
朋友
死黨
都是一種緣分

說說樹
我和她
就是有緣

小學中學大學
都念同一間學校

甚至
畢業後

兜兜轉轉
工作在同一區
住在同一區

沒有
很刻意的約對方

就是有緣遇到

'有緣再見'
有緣真的能見

人啊
在於選擇

對的人
錯的時間


錯的人
對的時間

懊惱

我說讓緣份決定吧

或許
對的人會在對的時間出現

對於有些很在乎你的
我只能說

你們有緣無份

-祝福-

Monday, March 2, 2015

24

I'm bored
Need excitement in my life
What would it be ?

Myself :
Dengue positive during CNY
No celebration for me except collecting ang paus
I never really enjoy this festive for 2 years

Last year
Busy searching work
No money no celebration 

This year
Sick


My health : 
After quitting from big 4
Red alerts on my health
I wonder why

Mayve because lack of exercise 
Some told me that i have no time to sick while
Working in previous employer

Is true
All the sickness come together

To solve : exercise!

Wanted to get a sport shoes
For jogging / hiking / trekking 

' u sure u will wearit?' 
This is the question both brother and boyf asked
After  I told them Iwanted to get one sport shoes

My work :
So far so good
Routine life style is one of the factors
Why i feel bored

Thought of planning outings with colleague

For self improvement, I have enrolled in my exam
Is already paper 4
Going to finish off stage one of this exam

Started to feel lazy 
Don't feel like studying

To solve : need motivation from bosses

Should I walk into my boss's room
And story to him ?


My family : 
As usual
Unsolved issue remained 

What to do ?!

Keep calm and close eyes

I found myself less involve in family issues
Compared to last time

Maybe because is already my bottomline
To tolerate everything 


My relationship : 
Stable

Feel bored not because of the boyf
Is because our routine life

To solve : short gateway !

And is all about money
But I dont care
Has been awhile since our last vacation 

My friends : 
Known each other for too long
And no topic to share 

Erm ... Where's the plan for our trip ?

To solve : Discuss and result oriented


Is 24 
And i feel myself not in this age * Omg
When you look back 
Ask yourself 
' What have you done ? '

Your dream 
Realizing? Or still searching for your dream?

My dream is very simple yet hard to achieve

Past one year :
I have worked for almost one year with current employer
I have completed 3 papers
So what's next ? 

All about working
That's why I'm bored 
.
.
.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

hello stress

Well
I'm stress

Stress of what ? 
God knows

Virus came and visited me
Really distracting

According to doctor
When immune system down
Virus that stays in my body
 will be activated 

Meaning? 
I have to keep myself chill and relax

How? 

I was wondering 
Is because the place I'm staying,
Stress me up ? as my lifestyle changed?

Lifestyle changed a lot seriously
when you need to accept something totally different!

Mood swings everyday 
:'(

I tried to make myself relax actually
Yet people around me stress me up 

I have tried to control emotion
But why me ? 
Why am I the one who tolerate people around

Should I run away for few days ? 
.
.
When you have something to tell 
And you can only tell nothing 
That's hard ! 

I will be good :) 
No worries



Saturday, December 27, 2014

最亲最陌生还是你

与男友分手

不是因为
她不爱她

而是
她接受不了
因为爱而什么都视而不见

男友
风度没有也算了

问也没问
还去拿她钱来用

'不是那么一点
都要和我计较吗?'
男友说

这是礼貌上的问题


要是选择了接受

那辛苦的就是嘉了


人品是重点

是需要假

在社会
是需要伪装

可是
当你最亲的人
感觉到你很陌生时

事情变得不一样了

原来一切都是
骗人的







Sunday, December 14, 2014

Untitled

原来
一切都是伪装

人是真的很脆弱




Sunday, August 31, 2014

When I got to know..You ?

Sunday afternoon
Sitting infront of lappie 
Searching for room

Staying in a small room
for almost 2 years, is time to move!

Stubborn like me
Never take initiative to search for room 
when people around me asking me to move
because of distance, ventilation problem and etc.

So , What makes me move now ?
Same reason as people giving me:

1. Distance
2. Ventilation of the room

Work load increases
Travelling time should be shorten

' Use the monthly rental as your monthly instalment for your house'
Well, everyone knows that. 

Everyone owning a house before the GST coming in.
The reality here is, the property price going up drastically 
and the pay for an ordinary working adult stay stagnant.

So, I'm like any ordinary person? 
Complaining on high cost of living?
Blame the government?

In fact, it is facts !

Instead of complaining 
I find ways to accommodate the rapid changes

Financially literate is important.
Brushing up my own financial knowledge whenever I can. 
Just to make life better? Or to follow the steps of others?

And, all is about money?!
That's reality.

Other than money, 
You have nothing to achieve in your life ?
Without using money. . .

High working ethics like me
Having internal conflict with myself when I see how others work

They might just finish their work and that's it. 
Ok, is non of my business if they don't pick up the knowledge 
which is right infront them.

Yes, you may just complete your responsible and call it a day.
But, please at least confirm that what you have done is correct 
and will no have impact to the others and entire team.

Am I complaining now ?
Yes? Haha

Selfish.
Human born to be selfish?

Another one, greedy.
Human born to be greedy?

Obviously can see everything in a small office.

Some might just said 
being helpful is a fake action. 

Whatever.
 Being helpful is the willingness from my bottom heart.

So called office politics arose because of those work for money people?

' I have something to tell you long ago' My master said. 
'Yes?'
'Have to be fake whenever you need'
'I know, but do you like it?'
'No. Sometimes have to'
'What are you trying to say?'

'You can be fake, but when you take off your mask,
 it should be different after you taking off'..'

I was digesting what he was trying to tell me.
He felt that I'm 'fake person' all the time ?
Or He was asking me to be fake?

My helpful hand scared him?

Deep. 

Should I just treated him PMS?
As he shared all those deep stuff with me recently.

I'm real all the time. 
Is obvious.

I understand the fake theory needed to apply
I choose not to if not needed.
.
.
Back to my topic, life.

Envy why people different with me. 
You know, internal conflict . 

Yaya, I have many conflicts.
I know you try to solve for me ... 
Thanks but you're not me . 

Every society have it owns status level. 
Being differentiate with name, position held, wealth...

Virus in the society : comparison. 
Kia su.

Person same age with you.
Owning toyota vios, latest series. 
Sharing his/ her own life which is not bad for me

Ok, his/ her family background supporting them. 
Is right maybe. 

Comparison come into place.. 

If you think another way round, 
he/she can be dependent and unable to solve problem by themselves. 

There's always good and bad. 

The virus impacted the society.

Ignore everything and live what you want to . 
Let it go? Let her go?Let it be?

Songs explained. Haha


When I got to know how's strong my principles are
and I can see the different now 

When I got to know I live for others but not me 
I feel it (Stupid)

When I got to know I care for others for no reason 
with nothing in exchange and people around me 
take it for granted... (Stupid)

When I got to know how's reality is 
and the impact now is on me .. 

Sometimes, keeping quiet is one of the way for relieve
Not everything has to be spoken out for discussion. 

Sometimes, it heals and sometimes not. 

Forgive but not forgotten.

When you got to know
why this blog has abandoned for a period of time
.
.
God knows :)








Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Pro


转行成功

当然
有不满之处

说真的
要不是这一转

我也不知道
原来我以前可以那么的专业

Professionalism

这一刻
我感觉不到这新工作的pro

这工作真的容易几百倍

要不是
我看见学习的机会
也许我又会贡献在失业率里

迟我一个月进来,左边的那一位
就叫他阿左好了!

阿左呢,和我一样
我们以前是同行

她觉得这工作
没怎么样
没什么多东西学

我和她简直是身同感受

谈话中
从她脸上写着
'你还要呆在这?'

从世界排行第一的公司
到马来西亚排行第四

工作上的满足感
真的没有到可怜

因为每天都在做同样的东西
uncertainty and risk 也减少了
很自然的压力大大的减少

每天看见阿左工作时
明显的她很没有心机在做

她说,以前
她的同事会告诉她
为什么要这样做
那样做后会有怎样的后果

在这里呢, 没有

当他看见我的师傅
特地走到我的位子
解释和教导我时
她, 羡慕

其实我那位师傅
心血来潮
刚巧他又得空
所以才过来指点指点

平时都是我大老远走过去
要求被指点
再加上她师傅经验比我师傅
来得丰富

:p 有时候我还会向她师傅偷师

希望阿左会相通

学习空间的确减少了
只要你去发掘存在的学习空间
还是能学习的

每天做同样的工作
闷一定会有,可是我有点上瘾
因为我要求自己做到零错误

当你做到零错误时
那就是满足感

说真的,我以前的辛苦
不是白的
真的学了很多很多

话说回来
我还是老样子
工作能在那一天做完
我必定完成它

其他同事的作风就不同
他们为了不让第二天空闲
把今天的工作留到明天

也因为我的变态习惯
每次要下班前
我都是处于紧张状态

'我每天,这时候都在做ganjeong
的事情'

放工前的十五分钟向我右边的邻居说. 

'明天才做吧'

就之差改一改和
师傅的签名就可电邮了
为什么要留到明天

ok, 责任感作怪.

我个人觉得
把要做的做完
回家就不会一直想着
'死咯, 还有一大堆还没做'

ok, 以前工作性质所害的.


我们来跳一跳
说到健康

大病后
有了工作

小病一直不断的来

嘴巴后
到眼睛

真的是个病人
可是日常生活还是一样


药箱,就是阿珍
她是一个录音机药箱

每一天会广播同样的东西
'明天要穿什么'
'明天要吃什么'

多了一个药箱室友
还蛮不错

因为有时候
还可以听见不同的广播

预防胜于治疗
预防不到那就积极面对

阿珍 (请用广东话)
病也可以很开心
有一天,你还会很健康的

别再广播同样的东西了


老弟,你不乖
'prevention is better than cure'
said papa tan.

为什么没有预防?
长大了啦, 照顾好自己吧.

每次都给我这么刺激的消息
每次都要我做无间道. . .

你会康复的,
加油吧,大家!


快要过半年了
竟快完成今年头定下来的目标

你的resolution完成了几巴仙?










































Tuesday, March 11, 2014

等.待.着



时间一分一秒
的过去


等待
可以换来
一直在期待的希望

我们总是逃不过等待
所带来的喜怒哀乐


等待那一通对的电话

过程需要自我鼓励
不放弃的精神
我, 还在等待


等待着
家人接受自己的一切

不简单
只要相信
总会雨过天晴


等待着
另一半的出现
女生总有白白的感觉


等待着
女生的接受
男生总有忐忑不安的感觉


等待着
自己把那一个不对的人忘掉
很辛苦

可是你已经选折了
加油吧


等待着
巴士的出现

不想迟到的你
会感到焦虑

很想回家的你
会很不耐烦


等待着
痛苦的过去
除了坚强还是坚强

哭过了
也就算了

要说的
已经说了

要明白的
也明白了

要改变当下的情况
唯有一直的等待下去


说说世界
那一夜
MH370的消失

全世界在等待它的出现

把洗衣,煮饭,抹地放一边
傻傻的坐在电视机前
看直播

心里除了寒冷
还有默默的祈祷


回来吧,MH370

大家都在
等.待.着





Thursday, February 27, 2014

A sudden post


翻了翻笔记
看见了去年所写下的resolutions

有三十项
成功的做到二十六项

同样的
在新年的第一个星期
写下了今年的resolutions


二零一四年
过了两个月

想了一想
其中几项的愿望
可以被达成

感恩 :)

最现实的一项
存钱

人人都想要钱
为了是过更好的生活

想一想未来
一切的一切
都需要钱

成功人士
白手起家的故事
听起来很简单

事实,不简单

深信
有心和坚持
一定能


朋友们的诉苦
我了解

却不希望
大家因钱而改变了自己

原则
不能当饭吃

没原则
有饭吃也不会开心

为了自己存钱的目的
而不还高等教育基金贷款

很-自-私

差一点没书读的我
很想告诉不还钱的家伙
少少也还一点点


自私
不但会害死自己
还会害到他人

我没有想过改变他人的自私

只是希望
个人自私没改变一个人
那就足够了



Monday, January 27, 2014

相信自欺欺人的希望


西海岸的大道
由上至下量了很多遍

是时候
去去东海岸
量一量吗?


别人羡慕我的空闲
我却能闲到病到

人说
小病是福

那大病呢?

原来病人的想法
真的可以很负面

烧退了又来

嘴巴感染了细菌
从长脓,流出,干掉,脱皮
过程不简单

为何会这样
不知

老爸说
'你太干净了'

所以容易皮肤过敏

什么东东?!

那期间
大脑进入自动模式
不断的输入正能量

最后,相信,好了.
虽然还在复原期


我自欺欺人的功力
也进步了

只可以先欺骗自己
才骗得了别人

这么辛苦隐瞒真相
我唯有继续的演下去

不明为什么要隐瞒?
再怎么解释都一样

因为
不在状况里的你
只能了解那文字中的苦

不'放弃'?
那'妥协'吧!
妥协好听多了

就在我想着'妥协'的事情时.
老爸破口而出的一句话

简单的英文单字所组成的句子
我,打消了'妥协'的念头

一天后
邮信箱里有一封
来自国外工作机会的信件


相信自欺欺人的希望?
那邮件是真的

"Don't stop hoping from the day you born till you die "

*Hoping*

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Determine


Well, stepping in the mid of December
Marking the third month of unemployment :(

Initially , wanted to blog the moment in Kuching
with my mum last week.


It's just a normal trip. 
Any excitement you could expect from a trip with parents ? 

Nothing much actually. 
And I found myself completing the so called 
'responsibilities' during the trip instead of really going to a trip.

Sorry mum! If I done any unpleasant act. 

Hey, lets go back to our main topic.
Yeap, December ! That's my dateline for myself to get a job. 

When someone asked me :

' How's your job hunting? '
' I rejected people , People rejected me too ' I answered. 
' Fair game. '

Yes. Is a fair game.

' You got a job? '
' Nope. Still searching. '
' Don't be so picky. '

Picky, picky , picky ? Am I ?
Choosy ? choosy ? choosy ?

Digested the words above and started to worry 
as people around me worried about me. 


Sad case when the word 'picky' is from one of my close friend. 
I knew she didn't mean it.

People, I'm actively in looking a job. 
Stress says hi and bye always as I refreshed the page
and there's only a few job opening.

Felt badly when it's all sales related :(
.
.
.
The brother worries at the point I resigned.

No doubt, I have a lots of outing and trips. 
Going here and there after I resigned.
But when I flashed back, is only a few places I went
comparing to those who are good at socializing, 
that's only small business. 

What to do ? Decided to go for this road.
Shouldn't wondering whether the road not taken will be good ?


Simple, I just want to have a job that suits me :)
Whatever picky and choosy , that's my way.
Have faith and believing always !






Monday, November 25, 2013

老舅

在黑漆漆的房间里
听见电话响

心里有数
那是一通死讯

果然没错
老舅走了

老舅, 
也就是阿麽的老弟.

因为肺死了
老舅须靠氧气筒活着

见完要见的人
安详的走了

没错
是吸烟所害

生命中
他是第三个
离我而去的亲人

阿麽知道后
没怎样

可是
和她聊天时
只见泪水在打滚

看见棺木
她,哭了

口中念着
'修弟..修弟'
(弟弟的意思)

从小一起长大
直到阿麽二十岁嫁给
阿公时才分开

每年平均就在新年时
见那么一次

这次见面时
却不是新年
.
.
.
一年级的杰
是老舅唯一的家孙

固执的他
不和其他家人一起
完成宗教仪式

"去, 和爸爸一起"
我看着他说.

杰那个时候应该拿着香
在灵堂前而不是站在我旁边. 

他, 摇一摇头说
"不要"

"为什么?" 我说.

没回答.

"不要, 一定有原因. 
告诉我, 为什么?"

他想了想说

"我很少拜神"

=,=

"去, 那个不是神,
那个是你阿公"

最后, 调皮的他
还是没去.

听见敲锣打鼓的声音
看见那熟悉的仪式
想起五年前
我跪在灵堂前的那一幕

外公的十位孙子都到齐
连两岁的表弟都没杰那么不听话

人老了, 逃不过死亡
所以, 别到了人不在时
才来尊敬

清明扫墓
才来孝顺?

不爱回家的朋友
回家吧!

那一夜
看见那一片星空
除了记载了一上的一切

还有在死城一幕

'破碎的星星' 我说.

'..........' 雯,珊和树的反应.

'是零零散散的星星'

'喔,林林珊珊的星星' 我说.


星空,很美 :)
老舅, 走好了.






Tuesday, November 19, 2013

阴影 ?

阴影

原来阴影
可以这么可怕

别小看它
不知不觉的恐惧
就是这么来的

面对和克服
真的需要时间

'你外冷,内热' 
妍说. 


因为各种原因
培养而成
外冷内热的我

阴影
是其中的原因

'此刻的她, 
不是真正的她'
慈向威说. 


话可以很多
却是表面上的伪装

原来
童年和过去
是很重要的.

阴影阿
你们一起来好吗?

不想一对一
的去见你们

Friday, November 1, 2013

必经路

听见,看见
朋友们

对工作上的不满

我, 只能聆听.

不管是
被人耍
被人说
被人看不起
被人怀疑

还是
被人看好
被人夸奖

都尝试过

那个时候
我抱着
'忍一时风平浪静'

这七个字
很管用, 真的. 

我的忍工不是白练的.

或许
你们会觉得

我,当然不怎么样
因为我还在当'量地官'

可是
当我在那处境时

身边的朋友
大多都还在念书

我的分享,
更加没人懂.

道理是一样的.

当然, 我不是你
我不能体会到有多难受

没有挫折
就不会成长

大家
下一秒会更好!

笑一笑


*工, 你再不来
我要走了.*









Thursday, October 17, 2013

唇语小妹


"你叫什么名字?"

她, 用唇语告诉我她的名字.
她, 会说话.
她, 说话超小声.

她是小宝, 唇语小妹.

小宝是我爸妈朋友的孙子.


虽然她的
老爸, 贩毒,
老妈, 远走高飞,

小宝却非常乖巧.

从小, 
小宝由她爷爷和奶奶照顾.

也就是我口中的
'粿条叔叔, 粿条阿姨'


粿条叔叔
可说是在我父母亲的朋友当中
我最熟悉的一位.

他被称为粿条叔叔
是因为他靠卖炒粿条维生.

回想起以前,
粿条叔叔常常逗我笑.
粿条阿姨呢, 
常常陪我玩耍.


说真的,
我没有印象 
粿条叔叔的粿条
到底是什么为味道.


结果, 
久不久去探望他时,
我都会说:

'我下次一定会买好材料, 
要你炒粿条给我吃'

. . .

说了没做
我还没来得及
记下那碟粿条的味道
粿条叔叔走了.

难以相信
他, 走了. 


每一天被爷爷照顾的小宝
现在跟随奶奶.

听见老妈说
小宝明年会被女方家人照顾.

是好是坏没有人知道.
粿条阿姨不舍得
也没办法.

那天, 载着六岁的小宝
逛街去.

她, 静静的
不会吵着要这个要那个.

看着她, 心里想着

'你的童年...'

一个孩子的童年.
是一辈子的事


'妈, 领养她吧' 我说.

'人家的妈妈要照顾她了'老妈说.

六岁了,六年了,现在才照顾她?

'她长大后
会恨死她妈妈
恨死她奶奶' 我说.

'你又知道?'妈说.

我, 专心的驾驶
没有回答
因为我在哽咽.

奶奶为什么不要我?
妈妈为什么要把我从奶奶身边带走?



六岁, 
大脑已经开始记下身边所发生的事物

我很肯定
她清楚知道, 
要被带走的事实.

对不起, 我有心无力
只能默默的祈祷

小宝
愿你快乐成长.